Hello!! How are you?
Recently, I’ve been thinking that it’s very important to say what I want to say.
In this world, there are people who can say what they want to say, and there are people who can’t say what they want to say.
I used to be the latter.
Even now, I am not able to assert my opinions head-on in every situation, but I think I’m losing less than before because of not being able to say what I want to say.
Because of this, I now feel that I am able to live more like myself than before.
We Japanese value cooperation with those around us, so I guess we don’t want to make arguments that conflict with the opinions of those around us.
I didn’t know that “we Japanese” meant that you were Japanese. I’ve always thought you were a strange creature.
That’s too straightforward. You don’t sound Japanese at all.
It is true that it is very important to be in harmony with the people around us.
But, if the importance of cooperation with others makes it hard for you, then I think you should change that situation.
As you can see, I don’t think you need to hold back what you want to say by stifling your true feelings.
So, based on my experience, I’d like to describe in this article the effects of being able to say what you want to say, and how you can learn to say what you want to say!
Advantages of being able to say what you want
So, first of all, I would like to share my opinion on the merits of being able to say what you want to say.
Avoiding a huge explosion of dissatisfaction
When you are able to say what you want to say, you will not have a huge explosion of dissatisfaction.
This is because people who are able to say what they want to say are able to eliminate their dissatisfaction by saying what they are dissatisfied with each time, so they do not exceed the limit of their dissatisfaction meter.
On the other hand, people who can’t say what they want to say will accumulate dissatisfaction inside themselves, and one day, they will finally exceed the limit of their dissatisfaction meter, and all the dissatisfaction they have accumulated up to that point will explode all at once, and they will end up in big trouble.
This is actually my own experience.
When I was very busy at work, I was under a lot of stress due to my workload and relationships, but I put up with it all and kept working.
And when I was very stressed out, someone at work asked me, “Are you okay?”, At that time, I answered, “I’m fine.”
It wasn’t okay at all, but I thought, “I’m sorry to make them worry by telling them it’s not okay,” so I continued working.
About a week later, I finally exceeded the limit of my dissatisfaction meter, and during working hours, I gave up everything and ran out of the company with all my might.
I kicked the wall in front of the elevator as hard as I could, punched a hole in the wall, and disappeared into the city in the opposite direction of my office without my luggage and with adrenaline running high.
If I had been able to handle my frustrations properly on a daily basis, and if I had been able to say, “My work is hard, please help me,” I don’t think that huge explosion would have happened.
In this way, I believe that saying what you want to say can prevent the worst from happening and protect yourself.
It is much better to say what you want to say honestly to the other person and have a little conflict of opinion at that time than to have a huge explosion of dissatisfaction.
Patience is really not good… Seriously…
If you keep what you want to say stifled inside you, you may end up like me, so let’s say what we want to say little by little on a daily basis and keep our dissatisfaction to a trickle.
Only Deidara is enough to make everything explode.
“Art is an explosion!” Deidara is my favorite of Naruto’s Akatsuki!
You read manga, don’t you? I thought you were a stone head who only read papers.
I think you need to keep your firepower down a bit, because your brain is exploding.
Increases the likelihood that your wishes will be granted
The more you can say what you want to say, the more likely it is that you will get what you want.
This is because it is only by asserting your own opinions that the other person can hear your thoughts and feelings, and there is room for the other person to act in accordance with your wishes.
If you don’t say anything, the other person won’t understand anything.
So, nothing will change if you stay in the same situation.
Of course, you will never get 100% of what you want if you insist, but you will still have a better chance of getting what you want if you insist than if you don’t.
By the way, this is also my experience, but there was a time when I was working very hard because of a big problem that needed to be solved as soon as possible.
I was on a very hard schedule at the time, and I felt like I was about to collapse.
So I said to myself, “I’m in a bit of a mess mentally and physically right now, and I might probably have to quit my job. But if I can get some more money, I think I can hang in there. I should talk to my boss about the money.” and then I started to negotiate for the allowance.
At first, it took a lot of courage to ask the higher-ups at the company for an allowance.
But I felt a sense of urgency, like, “If I can’t make this argument now, I’m going to remain a loser in the future,” and then I said what I wanted to say.
Then, my request was granted quite easily, and I was given an allowance as a result.
I got what I wanted and I was able to finish the hard work.
If I hadn’t said what I wanted at that time, I wouldn’t have gotten the allowance and I might have quit the company.
If there is a possibility that I can avoid such a great loss to myself by saying a few words, I think I should definitely do so.
From my own experience, I strongly believe that if you want to live your life the way you want to live it, you have to say what you want to say.
Everyone is not a robot, and it is natural for everyone to have something to say.
You’re really greedy for money, aren’t you? Isn’t it more important to work hard at the job you’ve been given?
Huh, that’s a bunch of bullshit. The company should rather say, “Thank you for working so hard for the company. You can use this money to eat good food, buy whatever you want, and treat yourself to more luxury than usual.”
Shouldn’t they feel gratitude towards their workers?
I agree! We’re not slaves! We’re not slaves! I think it’s crazy to take all the hard work for granted and not feel any gratitude!
I don’t agree with the snail there either.
I’m a dinosaur! Bollocks!
When you are able to say what you want to say, you will gradually gain confidence.
How to be able to say what you want to say
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
After writing so much in the previous two paragraphs, the “Gaining Confidence” section is just one line?
I guess it’s a sign that the author already has enough confidence in himself to be able to handle all the complaints after finishing just that one line.
The message is so far-fetched that I don’t understand it at all……
Now, I’d like to share my opinion on how to be able to say what you want to say.
Gradually building up a success story
In order to be able to say what you want to say, I think it is very important to gradually accumulate successful experiences of being able to say what you want to say, even if it is something small.
The more successes you experience, the more you will think, “I can do this too!” and you will no longer be overly afraid of failure.
In my case, as I explained above, after I expressed my wishes and got the results I was expecting, I changed my mindset to “I should say what I want to say!”
Then I gradually started to be able to say what I wanted to say, and after I said what I wanted to say, it gave me confidence, and then I said what I wanted to say again, and that gave me confidence again, and so on, entering a virtuous cycle.
So in order to enter this kind of virtuous cycle, you have to ignite the fire of small success stories first.
And once you have a success story, I think you will be able to enter a virtuous cycle like I did.
Well, getting that first success experience is the most difficult part…
But conversely, if you can do that, the rest won’t be so difficult, so I hope you can succeed in that first challenge.
The accumulation of small successes will build your confidence and change you.
Stop overthinking things
I also think that it is important not to take things too seriously when building up success stories.
I think people who can’t say what they want to say end up thinking too much, such as, “If I say what I want to say here, people will hate me…” or “If saying what I want to say destroys the atmosphere around me, it’s better not to say anything…” and end up in a situation where they can’t say what they want to say.
So, simply, stop thinking about it.
Be an idiot. Let’s be the biggest idiot under the sun and destroy our overthinking thought process!
And I think it’s better to think, “Even if I say what I want to say and people hate me, it doesn’t matter.”
Because you don’t have a permanent relationship with the people in front of you, you only have relationships with them within your company or school, and they are only temporary relationships.
It’s not like your life is going to end if you lose touch with those people.
If you feel uncomfortable at work, you can change your company, and even if you lose touch with your friends, you can go out for drinks and make new friends in the city.
And even if you say what you want to say and someone gets angry or the atmosphere around you gets bad, it’s not like it will kill you.
So I think it’s better to stop overthinking things and think, “If I say what I want to say and people around me hate me or get annoyed, I’ll just leave the place in the end.”
So don’t think too hard about it, and just say what you want to say.
And as I mentioned above, it can be easier than you think to get what you want.
It’s unlikely that everything you say will have a bad outcome.
So, when you say what you want to say, I think it’s better to think, “There’s no guarantee that what I’m about to say will fail, and even if it does, it won’t kill me, so I’ll just say it anyway.”
So far, I’ve written articles arguing that we should say what we want to say!
I certainly understand that it’s not easy for people who have a hard time saying what they want to say.
I used to be like that, so I really understand the feeling.
But now, I am basically able to say what I want to say.
By experiencing what I wrote above, and by continuing to think about it, before I knew it, I was able to say what I wanted to say naturally.
So, below is today’s conclusion!
☆ Advantages of being able to say what you want ☆
- Avoiding a huge explosion of dissatisfaction
Say what you want to say and put out the small fires of dissatisfaction on a regular basis to prevent a huge explosion in the future!
- Increases the likelihood that your wishes will be granted
It’s better to say what you want than not to say it at all! Because it gives you a chance of getting what you want!
- Gaining Confidence(?)
☆ How to be able to say what you want to say ☆
- Gradually building up a success story
The more successes you have in saying what you want to say, and the more the virtuous cycle begins to turn, the more you will naturally be able to say what you want to say.
Even a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. First, you need to build up one simple success story!
- Stop overthinking things
Idiots are the strongest!
Even if you are disliked, even if you fail, even if you get fired, you have to realize that it won’t cost you your life!
Also, I don’t think it is a bad thing to have conflicting opinions.
I think it’s natural for you and others to have different opinions because we have lived different lives.
Conflicting opinions are certainly not fun, but I think it’s much worse to hold back and not say what you want to say and then one day explode.
In order to live life on your own terms, please try to say what you want to say little by little!
Don’t live on someone else’s playing field, but live your own life!
I hope this blog helps some of you out there who are struggling! 😉
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written a blog, so I’ve tried to improve my sentence structure and other things since last time.
This is still a poorly written blog, but I hope to continue to improve it and make it more readable for everyone, so please stay tuned!
So, thank you for reading this long post! \(^o^)/☆