It’s nice to have friends, isn’t it?
I think we are able to work harder at many things because we have friends who not only joke around with us, go out to eat with us, and share fun times, but also give us advice when we are troubled and work together towards a common goal.
Working as a team to achieve a goal can be painful, but at the same time, the process of reaching the goal and the joy of reaching the goal can be irreplaceable.
There will also be times when you will be warmly treated by the local people, and your heart will be warmed 🙂
I think you can get a lot of joy and learn a lot from interacting with different people in this way.
But let me tell you right off the bat, strangers are just strangers.
Your friends, your teammates, and the people who look out for you in the community are all strangers.
Of course, they are not you.
They are strangers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What happened all of a sudden!? I thought this was going to be a touching story about the bonds between people!
Do you have a dual personality?
It gave me a chill, didn’t it……?
However, it is a fact that strangers are strangers, and unless they are family members connected by blood, strangers should not be trusted that much, nor should they be expected to be.
So I’m going to talk in detail in this article about why I’m saying such cold things!
I hope this will be of some help to those who are hurt in their relationships and find it difficult to trust others or to live in relationships.
The higher your expectations, the more you despair when they are betrayed
Since strangers are just strangers, there is a great possibility that they will not do what you expect them to do.
For example, when you are in trouble, you may think that your friend will help you because he is your friend, but it is quite possible that your friend will not help you.
And the higher your expectations are at that time, the more you will despair when the other person does not meet your expectations.
“Don’t my friends think of me as a friend…?”
“Did I do something wrong to my friend…?
You may be troubled in this way.
But it’s not your fault. I think that’s the nature of human relationships with others.
Just as you have your own life, your friends have their own lives.
Friends don’t always think about you.
On the other hand, can you think about your friends all the time?
Just as you have priorities in your own life, your friends also have priorities in their lives.
In your own mind, “This is the most important! But your friends may say, “No, no, this is more important!”
I think it is quite common to have different values like this, or rather it is normal to have differences like that.
You and your friends are completely different people with different lives.
And if you have your own priorities for things, then you need to acknowledge your friends’ priorities for things as well.
For example, you may be thinking, “I want to go out to dinner with A later,” But he may be more interested in playing his new game than eating with you. If your friend asks you to go out, you may decline the invitation, saying, “I have a date with my girlfriend that day…”
What’s important is different for each person, so it’s inevitable that your friends won’t always live up to your expectations.
If your friends are not bothering you, it would be cruel to expect too much from them about many things.
I think that’s what human relationships are all about.
I think it’s better not to expect too much from others, because if you expect too much, you will feel pain when you don’t get good results.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have any expectations at all, but I do think that it’s better to have expectations in moderation.
The lower the level of expectation, the less shock you will receive when the result is not what you expected.
So, as a precautionary measure, I don’t expect too much from everything because I don’t want to have a hard time.
When you think you’re going to do well and then you don’t, the shock is quite great…
I thought, “I definitely got a good score on this test!”, but when I didn’t get a good score at all, I was really depressed……
There was a girl I used to hang out with, and I thought, “I can totally go out with her!” and I confessed my feelings to her, but it didn’t work out and I couldn’t get out of bed for about two months
It’s true, it’s pretty tough when your expectations don’t turn out to be good…… I understand.
There are good people and there are bad people in this world
The world is not made up of only good people.
Of course there are bad people.
So I think it is natural to encounter bad situations in life.
For example, one of my relatives became a guarantor of a debt because of his kindness, and in the end he was forced to take on the entire debt.
The relative was very kind, but the person who owed the money took advantage of my relative’s kindness and just disappeared.
If you look at the other person with all goodwill, it is possible that you will just end up losing yourself in this way.
There are good people and there are bad people, this is the reality of this world.
Of course, trusting others is important in some situations, but it is always better to recognize that strangers are just strangers.
For example, when you lend money to someone else, you should be prepared for the fact that you may not get your money back at the same time.
This is because strangers are strangers and there is no guarantee that they will do what you want them to do.
I don’t really agree with the assumption that other people are not good people. Everyone has a good heart, and I’m sure that the person who cheated on your relative has regretted it, reflected on it, and is now doing a good deed.
Well, don’t complain if someone cheats on you
It’s only the deceiver’s fault, so don’t bully the deceived like that!
Assume from the start that all people are not good people
If you believe that everyone is basically a good person, you will be shocked and develop a strong distrust of others when something bad or inconvenient happens in your relationships.
If that’s the case, I think it’s better to assume from the start that all people are not good people.
If you do this, your expectations of others will be low from the start, so even if they betray you, I think you won’t suffer too much damage.
In the first place, I think that people are dirty.
I think it is basic human nature to be jealous and try to cause trouble to those around us, to pursue our own interests by outsmarting others, to act arrogantly in the mistaken belief that they’ ve become great, and to still want things even when they think their desires have been satisfied to a certain degree.
“That’s not true! Everyone around me is a good person!” You may think, However, I think that is only because those people have a certain level of comfort in their lives and live with a certain amount of concern for the people around them, so they behave in a way that is considered socially good.
When their environment changes and they can no longer afford to live or belong to a small closed group, their attitude and behavior will probably change.
They will gradually stop adopting socially recommended attitudes and behaviors.
The mechanism is explained in the chapter “Why does bullying happen?” in this article, if you are interested in reading it. ↓
So it’s not necessarily a mistake to assume that all people are not good people.
It’s not a mistake, and if you can prepare yourself in that way, you won’t be hurt so badly when others treat you coldly.
I’m with you on this one.
And if you think all people are not good, I think you can look at people pretty rationally.
It is true that if you treat other people as good people from the start, you are more likely to have cracks in your relationships when there is trouble, but if you treat other people as bad people from the start, you are more likely to be able to repair your relationships by thinking, “Well, we are all not good people to begin with,” even if there is trouble.
Hmmm… I don’t really want to agree with this, but I think you have a point……
But don’t act like a stranger just because your friends are just strangers
I believe that others are only strangers to me, but that does not mean that I think it is okay to be bossy with them.
As long as they don’t bother me, I think it’s fine if I treat them in a normal manner.
If a friend gives you unbearable trouble, you can cut ties with that person if you want to.
Until then, I think it is enough to treat them in a normal manner.
And after all, it is good to have friends and colleagues.
I have friends who have been close to me for a long time, and I think it’s good to have relationships where we can talk about silly things and help each other.
I think it is also important to have good relationships with people around you, not just your close friends, and it’s better to have one or two people you can rely on when you have a problem.
In short, I think that we should not expect too much from others because they are only strangers, but if they are not bad people, we should have some good relationships with them.
Of course, it’s good to get to know people you like better and better.
However, it is best to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and not to expect too much of everything.
So far, I have discussed why I believe that strangers are just strangers.
If the food is lightly seasoned, you can enjoy it for a relatively long time, but if it is strong, you will soon get bored.
I think the relationship between a husband and a wife is the best example of this.
Rather, I think it’s better to build a relationship with a good distance between us, so that we can build a long-lasting relationship.
In my opinion, relationships are best when they are thin.
It’s true that a relationship with the right amount of distance is the best way to maintain a good relationship, as I have experienced in the past.
But I have a very good friend, and we’ve never had a bad relationship!
I guess some people are able to build such relationships. Well, I guess it’s a very small percentage
Relationships are difficult, aren’t they?
I also had a lot of trouble.
There’s no limit to how much you can worry about human relationships, so I’ve decided that it’s okay if people around me don’t like me.
It’s not the end of your life if five or six people don’t like you, and I think it’s normal for some people to get along with you and others to not, so I think it’s okay to be hated as long as there’s nothing wrong with your actions.
So, thank you for reading this long!
I hope you can relax and enjoy your life! 🙂