There are people in the world who are extremely sensitive, which is called HSP (Highly Sensitive Person).
I am this type of HSP, and because of my sensitivity and delicacy, I have often felt the hardness of life like HSPs generally feel.
Because I’m too sensitive, I get hurt by trivial things, I can’t say no to requests, I can’t ask for favors, I can’t express my own opinions, and I get tired because my nerves react quickly to the atmosphere around me.
I was struggling with these natural characteristics of mine, and because of my sensitivity, I repeatedly wondered why it is so difficult for me to live my life, and it made me feel depressed again and again.
You play the guitar, you sing, and you seem to be a bit of a social butterfly
Hmmm, I think there are a lot of people who look cheerful but are actually HSP. I guess there are a lot of comedians who are like that.
HSP is a concept that describes a person’s nature and does not represent a disease.
But, even if it is not a disease, it is a fact that people with HSP have the hardness of life.
Especially in a typical work environment, where you have to cooperate with others to get things done, I find this HSP trait to be very troublesome.
I think there are many office workers who have HSP and want to do something about it.
In fact, I also wanted to do something about it.
And as I read more and more books on the mind and experience more and more things in my daily life, my hardness of life has become relatively better these days.
I’m still sensitive, yes, but I still find it easier to live and work than before.
The only reason why I feel better mentally is because I have accepted this nature of HSP.
And I think it’s also a kind of resignation.
Whenever something happens, I think, “Oh well…it’s okay. It can’t be helped,” and I don’t worry about it as much anymore.
In this article, I would like to share my know-how on how people who have the hardness of life should think and live their daily lives.
I hope my experience will be useful to you!
On acceptance: Five Stages of Grief
In my opinion, if you want to eliminate the hardness of life with HSP, you need to truly accept that you are a sensitive person.
Acceptance is easy to say, but what kind of process does one have to go through to reach acceptance?
In psychology, there is a theory called the “Five Stages of Grief,” and I would like to take a look at it.
It shows how a patient’s psychological state changes when faced with death. It is a five-step process from being shocked by the doctor’s pronouncement of death to accepting the reality and facing the end of life peacefully.
In detail, it looks like this.
- Denial – The stage of denying reality after receiving a great shock like “It’s not true!!”, “I can’t believe it!!”
- Anger – The stage of anger that says, “Why am I being treated so badly? to those around you.
- Deal – The stage of beginning to think about how to be saved and sometimes trying to rely on God
- Depression – The stage of depression after going through stages 1-3, when you realize that you have no control over the situation.
- Acceptance – The stage of accepting the disease. There are times when you cannot give up hope, but suddenly a state of liberation appears where you realize everything, say goodbye to hope, and accept the disease.
When you look at this, you can see that there are many emotional changes during the process of acceptance.
I went through the same emotional ups and downs like Five Stages of Grief before I accepted the hard nature of HSP. (I wasn’t facing death, so I didn’t try to hang on to God.)
But, it is also true that if you can finally accept it, it won’t bother you and you will have a peaceful mind.
This process applies not only to illness but also to heartbreak, and I think this is a universal human psychological process for overcoming sad reality.
But it sounds like you’re in pain until you accept it, and it’s not an easy thing to do……
That’s right. It may seem paradoxical, but I think that because you worry a lot, you will eventually be freed from your worries.
If we turn our eyes away from reality, we will never be able to solve our problems.
From my experience, I believe that we humans are equipped with the ability to accept reality by facing things carefully.
As I said at the beginning of this article, HSP is not a disease, and it is not something that can be cured or treated, so in the end, it is important to be able to accept it.
You shouldn’t think “I’m going to fight this hardness of life!” or “I’m going to get better!,” rather I think it’s better to look at your nature from the perspective of acceptance.
In fact, when I finally accepted this nature of mine, my hardness of life became much less painful.
I no longer feel aversion to my sensitive self.
Grass-type Pokémon are strong against Water-type Pokémon but weak against Fire-type Pokémon
I think that people with HSP who are having the hardness of life need to try to focus on the positive aspects of HSP.
I think that the reason why people are having the hardness of life is because they are only looking at the negative aspects of HSP.
But, in reality, being an HSP is not all bad, there are also good sides to it, so if you can focus on these and see our nature in a positive light, you will gradually stop worrying about the bad parts of HSP.
For example, HSPs are sensitive, but they are able to deeply understand the feelings of others with their high empathy.
They are also able to feel things deeply, so they are able to feel more joy than other people even in ordinary things that make them happy, and they sometimes have traits such as an excellent ability to express themselves through art.
They can also use their keen intuition to quickly find solutions to problems and raise their own evaluation, or they can use their high empathy and ability to quickly sense the atmosphere around them to support the members around them.
So, I think that HSP people are actually very useful in a group.
That’s awesome that you have HSP!
It’s like they have magical powers. It’s so cool!
It’s not like they can make magic come out of their hands, but it’s still an amazing ability.
It’s just that he or she feels the hardness of life, but if he or she can demonstrate the abilities that he or she possesses, the people around him or her will find it quite useful.
In other words, sensitivity can sometimes be a hindrance in life, but it can also be a weapon.
When it comes to abilities, if you excel in one area, you will be inferior in another area.
For example, if a sumo wrestler participated in an athletic event, he would probably win in a tug of war, but lose in a 100-meter race.
The bigger and stronger he is, the slower he will be in running.
This means that being particularly strong at something makes you particularly weak at something else.
Also, large companies can develop large-scale businesses because they have a lot of people, but they tend to lack speed and flexibility because of their slow decision-making and inability to change when necessary.
On the other hand, small and medium-sized companies have fewer people, so they can’t develop large-scale businesses, but in return, they are more likely to act with speed and flexibility.
If something is particularly strong, then at the same time something is particularly weak.
It’s the same as saying that grass-type Pokémon are strong against water-type but weak against fire-type.
As you can see, every time there is a strength, there is always a weakness, and the same thing can be said for a person’s nature, such as HSP.
If you have weaknesses, you also have strengths.
The point is not whether a person’s nature is good or bad, but rather how his or her abilities are positioned in this world.
It’s just a matter of “I’m good at this, so I’m a little weak in this area.”
“No victory without sacrifice.”
You can’t gain something without sacrificing something.
It means you’re giving up something in order to gain something.
The trade-off is the essence of ability, probably.
Abilities are the two sides of the same coin, and strengths and weaknesses coexist.
So it would be a real waste to only look at your weaknesses even though you have good strengths.
But, as you start to focus on your strengths, you will gradually start to see yourself in a positive light, and eventually you will be able to think, “Well, that’s enough about my weaknesses.”
In my case, that’s how my hardness of life was eased.
I used to hate my weaknesses, but now I’m proud of my strengths.
Do we all have a mission that we were born with?
I believe that people who are born with a certain talent have a kind of “mission” to use that talent for the benefit of the world.
And if we can use our abilities to benefit society, I think we will be satisfied as human beings.
That’s why I believe that we should not only look at our faults but also utilize our strengths and show our talents.
Being born with a talent that others don’t have means that you also have disadvantages that others don’t have, and in a sense, this is unavoidable.
If you only look at your disadvantages all the time, your life will probably end without using the good talents you were born with.
This is how I, a sensitive person, have talked about how we should perceive and accept the hardness of life, based on my own experiences.
It was quite sensitive, so it was hard for me to interject my opinion……
But I think it’s important to face these issues head on and think about them!
As we have seen in the “Five Stages of Grief”, it would be good if we could see the positive side of HSP with the premise of eventual acceptance.
In the process, you may feel anger or depression.
But, acceptance means that you will experience negative emotions in the process, so I think it would be good if you can slowly deal with your nature without being too hasty and without pushing yourself too hard.
That’s right. Yeah.
So, thank you for taking the time to read this long article! 🙂