There are people in the world who are ultra-sensitive, so-called HSP (Highly Sensitive Person).
I am an HSP, and because I am so sensitive, I have often felt the same kind of difficulty in living that HSP people generally feel.
Because I’m so delicate, I struggled with my native properties, such as hurting on trivial matters, failing to decline others’ requests by worrying about others, failing to say my opinions by worrying about others, and feeling tired of responding nervously to the atmosphere around me.
And I have repeatedly wondered why it is so difficult for me to live.
You play the guitar, and you sing a song.
So I was thinking you’re a sociable person.
Hmm, I don’t think HSP people are necessarily introverted in appearance. I personally think that many comedians are sociable but have HSP.
HSP is a concept that describes a person’s nature, not a disease.
However, even though HSP is not a disease, it is also true that people with HSP live with difficulty.
Especially at work, where we have to work together with others, I think it is very difficult for people with HSP.
If a worker has the nature of HSP, he/she may want to do something about it.
In fact, I’ve always wanted to do something about it.
And through reading various books on the mind and experiencing various things in my daily life, the pain and suffering I currently feel due to the difficulty in living have become relatively less severe.
I’m still sensitive, yes, but I still find it easier to live and work now than before.
The reason why is because I have accepted the nature of HSP.
And I think it’s also a kind of giving up.
Even when something happens, I think, “Well, that’s OK. It can’t be helped,” and I don’t worry too much anymore.
In this article, I would like to share my thoughts on how to lighten the difficulty of living, based on my past experiences.
I hope my experience helps you out!
Accepting: Five Stages of Grief
I believe that if you want to eliminate the difficulties of living, you need to truly accept that you are a sensitive person.
It’s easy to say “accept,” but how do we do that?
I think I have no choice but to experience many things, including good things and bad things.
For example, there is a theory in psychology called the “Five Stages of Grief“, and I’d like to look at that a little bit.
This shows how a patient’s psychological state changes when faced with death, and represents the process from the patient’s shock at the doctor’s pronouncement of death to the patient’s acceptance of the reality and eventual peaceful ending of life.
Let’s take a look at the specifics below.
- Denial – The stage of denying reality after being great shocked such as “it’s not true!”, “I can’t believe it!”
- Anger – The stage where anger is directed at others like “Why is this happening to me!!?”
- Trading – The stage where they sometimes try to hang on to God. They start thinking about how to be saved.
- Depression – The stage of depression when they realize that they have no control over the situation.
- Acceptance – The stage of acceptance of the disease. Saying goodbye to hope and accepting the disease.
As you can see, even if we simply say “accepting,” you can see that there are many emotional changes along the way.
I went through the same emotional ups and downs as “Five Stages of Grief” before I accepted the nature of HSP.
Well, I wasn’t facing death, so I didn’t try to hang on to God.
But it is also true that if you can accept it in the end, you will come to no longer care about it and you will have a peaceful mind.
I think this process applies not only to illness but also to heartbreak, and I think this is a universal human psychological process to overcome sad reality.
But it’s not easy to accept……
That’s right. Although it may seem paradoxical, I think that because we worry a lot, we will eventually be freed from our worries.
If we turn our eyes away from reality, we will never be able to solve our problems.
From my experience, I believe that we have the ability to accept reality by facing things carefully.
As I said at the beginning of this article, HSP is not a disease, and it cannot be cured, so in the end, it is important to be able to accept it.
You don’t think that “I’m going to fight this difficulty of living!” or “I’m going to fix it!”, In my opinion, it is better to look at your nature in the direction of acceptance.
In fact, after I accepted the nature of HSP, the difficulty of living has been eased considerably.
However, during the process of acceptance, even though I thought I had accepted it, in fact, I hadn’t fully accepted it yet, and I ended up suffering again, and even though I thought I had accepted it again, in fact, I hadn’t…… I repeated this process many times, and I was finally able to accept it.
Grass-type Pokémon are strong against Water-type Pokémon but weak against Fire-type Pokémon.
I think that HSP people who are having a hard life need to try to focus on the strengths of HSP.
I believe that the reason you are currently having a hard life is because you are seeing only the negative legacy of HSP.
However, in reality, there are not only bad sides to HSP, but also good sides, and as you learn to focus on the good aspects and view your nature in a positive light, you will gradually become less concerned about the bad aspects of HSP.
For example, HSP is sensitive and can notice things that others don’t. In other words, they have a high level of empathy and can understand the feelings of others.
In addition, because they can feel things deeply, they are able to feel small joys more deeply than others, and they can have excellent expressive abilities in the arts.
I believe that HSP people are useful in a group because they can use their sharp intuition as a weapon in their work, and they can use their high empathy to support the members around them.
HSP is awesome!
It’s like they have some kind of special ability.
It’s so cool!
It’s not like magic comes out of their hands, but they’ve got some pretty impressive abilities.
They have difficulty of living, but if they can show their good sides, I think they will be quite useful to the people around them.
In other words, sensitivity can sometimes be difficult to live, but it can also be a weapon.
Ability is something that if somewhere is excellent, at the same time somewhere is inferior.
For example, a professional wrestler would probably win in arm wrestling but lose in a short-distance race.
The bigger and stronger they are, the slower they will run.
If people are particularly strong at something, they are particularly weak at something.
Also, large companies are able to develop large-scale businesses because of the large number of people, but they also tend to lack speed and flexibility, such as slow decision-making and the inability to change when necessary.
On the other hand, small and medium-sized companies are not able to develop large-scale businesses due to the small number of people, but instead, they are more likely to act with speed and flexibility.
No matter what it is, if it is particularly strong in something, it is particularly weak in something.
Grass-type Pokémon are strong against Water-type Pokémon but weak against Fire-type Pokémon.
As you can see, when things have strengths, they always have weaknesses, and this is true for HSP as well.
If people have weaknesses, they also have strengths.
The point is not to talk about whether a person’s nature is good or bad, but rather what kind of positioning the person’s abilities have.
It’s just that because people have their strengths, they also have their weaknesses.
I guess “No sacrifice, No victory” means the same thing.
You can’t gain something without sacrificing something.
You have to sacrifice something to get something
I guess you could also say “trade-off”.
Competence is like the two sides of a coin; strengths and weaknesses coexist.
So I think it’s really a waste of time to only look at the weaknesses in spite of they have good strengths.
And as you begin to focus on your strengths, you will eventually be able to think, “I don’t need to worry about my weaknesses anymore.
At least I did.
I used to hate my weaknesses, but now I’m proud of my strengths.
Do we all have a natural mission?
I believe that people who are born with some kind of talent have a kind of “mission” to use that talent for the benefit of the world.
And if we can use our talents for the benefit of society, I think we are truly happy as human beings.
Therefore, I believe that we should not only look at our shortcomings but also make use of our strengths and show our talents.
Also, being born with talents that others don’t have means that they also have disadvantages that others don’t have, so I think it can’t be helped.
However, if they only look at their shortcomings all the time, their life will end without using their good talents.
I think we need to focus on our strengths as much as possible instead of focusing only on our weaknesses.
So, based on my own experience, I have described a way of thinking that makes life less difficult.
That’s a very difficult but important problem.
But I think it’s important to face these issues and think about them!
As we saw in the “Five Stages of Grief,” it would be nice if we could see the nature of HSP in a positive light, assuming that we eventually accept it.
You may experience anger or depression in the process.
However, “acceptance” means experiencing also negative emotions in the process, so I think it would be good if you could slowly deal with your own nature without pushing yourself too hard.
Things move forward slowly.
Yeah. You’re right.
So, thank you for taking the time to read this long article! 🙂