When I was a student, I was often bullied.
When I was in junior high school, the school was pretty rough and I was bullied by a group of delinquents.
When I was in high school, I was bullied by a lot of people, including my seniors and peers. I used to cry in the classroom after being beaten up, and at recess, I would run to the study room right next to the staff room to avoid being bullied.
I was bullied by many people: I was forced to improvise something funny in front of many people, I was slapped in the face every time I passed my seniors in the hallway, I was often beaten with bamboo swords without protective gear in the kendo, a traditional Japanese style of fencing, club I belonged to, and my arms were burned with hair irons.
The scars from the bullying are still on my body.
Looking back now, I think I was bullied a lot when I was in school.
However, now that I am a working adult, I have nothing to do with bullying, and even if it is hard, I am chasing my dreams and feeling casual joy in my daily life.
The painful time of bullying was not forever, and looking back now, I feel that I was living in just one small world.
Bullying is not the be-all and end-all of this world.
After graduating from high school, I went to college and then to work, where I met many good people.
If you are being bullied right now, you are feeling painful and difficult, but that is not all there is to this world.
If you venture out from your small world into other worlds, you will encounter many fun things in your future life.
In this article, I would like to think about bullying and how we can deal with it.
I hope you will keep in mind that there are still many fun things in this world that you don’t know about if you step out of your small world.
I was bullied so fiercely, but now I’m enjoying my life.
The argument that “a person being bullied also has the cause of the problem” is so ridiculous
Some people claim that “a person being bullied also has the cause of the problem”, but I think that claim is completely wrong.
Bullies bully for irrational reasons like “she’s quiet” or “he’s fat” or “they piss me off”, not because the person being bullied has done anything wrong.
Even if the person being bullied has a quiet personality, that should not be an excuse to bully them.
For example, if your neighbors are rich, is it okay to steal their money?
In this case, it is only natural that the person who stole the money is completely at fault and the person whose money was stolen is not at fault at all.
The one who is at fault is the one who has done the wrong thing for unreasonable reasons, no matter how you look at it.
So I think we should just ignore people who say “a person being bullied also has the cause of the problem”, thinking that they are people who have no compassion for those who are in a weaker position.
You don’t need to bother listening to such people at all.
“I didn’t do anything wrong.“
First of all, I want you to take this as a basic premise.
Solutions to Bullying
Before looking at specific solutions to bullying, I believe that there are two main directions in which bullying can be solved.
One is to “stand up to the bully.“
And another is to “run away from bullying.”
I’m not talking about which is better or worse, which is cool or uncool, but you need to choose the appropriate option depending on the situation in which we are being bullied.
Incidentally, in my case, I solved the bullying by taking a stand against it.
I said I stood up to bullies, but it wasn’t cool at all, I just looked down and talked to my parents a little bit about bullying while I was having dinner with my family lol
I’ll tell you more later, but when I confessed to the bullying, my parents got angry and went to the school to help me solve the bullying.
At the same time, I also think that running away is a very good option, without having to force yourself to stand up to bullies.
When you start working in a company, you will be required to solve problems in various ways, but I believe that “taking it easy and running away sometimes” is a good approach to problem-solving.
No one will think you’re a coward.
Because the people who are bullying you are the ones who are cowardly in the first place.
There are many solutions to bullying.
The overwhelming majority of people in the world are against bullying, and the overwhelming majority of people in the world are on your side.
Let’s take a look at how to solve bullying, including my own experiences.
Stand up to bullying
Talk to your parents
By telling my parents that I was being bullied, I was able to make the bullying situation better at once.
After I told my parents about the bullying, my father apparently got angry and went to the school, afterwards, the teacher, I and the bully had a chance to talk and the bully apologized.
And in fact, the bullying from that person and the rest of the group stopped.
Although I did feel the cold stare of the bully afterwards, there was no more direct physical or verbal violence, and my life was much more peaceful than before.
I was afraid of revenge after I confessed to the bullying, but that wasn’t the case.
I think that even bullies have a conscience.
The bullies were high school students at the time, and I believe that high school students, who are becoming adults both mentally and physically, have a somewhat higher probability of being able to make rational decisions in the end.
Since bully is only human, even after they apologize, I don’t think they would want to further bully the person who they were bullying without a valid reason.
Also, my parents were behind me and they knew about the bullying, so I think the bullies were afraid of my parents.
So, while talking to your teacher may be a good way, I think talking to your parents is more effective.
Parents are desperate for their children, and I often hear that some schools are reluctant to solve bullying, so I think parents are the best people to turn to.
Parents want to help their children, and you can always rely on them to the fullest.
Even if your parents don’t go to school as in my case, they can offer a variety of other effective solutions.
It took a lot of courage for me to tell my parents about the bullying, but now I think it was a good idea to tell them about it.
Thanks to that, the bullying did not escalate and cause further physical injuries, nothing serious happened, and I am now able to live my life in my own way without being bullied.
Call for bullying counseling
If you find it hard to talk about bullying with people close to you, you can call the bullying counseling center and ask for help.
If you stay in a situation where you don’t know what to do, you still won’t be able to solve the problem.
However, once you take the plunge and make a phone call, the counselor will then be able to help you and may be able to give you specific advice or take specific action, and in this way, the bullying may eventually be resolved.
I think it is important to take action, whatever it takes.
It would be great if a single phone call could make things go in the right direction.
Also, sharing your current situation with other people rather than keeping it to yourself will make you feel so much better mentally.
So I think it’s totally fine to just “ask them to listen to me” first, so please don’t hesitate to call them when you want to.
I hope that you, who have done nothing wrong, will not keep your problems to yourself, but will actively utilize the help you can get from those around you.
I think you have more on your side than you know!
Fight back against bullies
This is a little bit risky way, but I think fighting back against bullies is one option.
I think that being bullied means, in essence, that you are being looked down upon.
I think they think, “He’s quiet and won’t fight me, so I’m sure I can do anything to him.”
So, if you fight back against such bullies with your mouth or even hit them back, they may not bully you next time.
But on the other hand, there is the possibility that they will escalate the bullying more.
This is a risky approach and I honestly don’t know if it will work or if things will get worse.
I think it’s a solution that has two extreme outcomes: hopefully, they won’t try to get involved with you at all in the future, and on the other hand, it may lead to more escalation of the bullying.
Incidentally, when using this solution, I believe that this counter-attack strategy will work better for people who are in a group and have gradually come to bully you, rather than people who seem to be naturally bad boys and girls.
This is because those people are not that bad-tempered, and I don’t think they have the energy to fight back again against your counterattack.
So, if you are going to fight back, I think it is a prerequisite that you observe your opponent and fight back.
I don’t think you should provoke someone who has pierced ears or whose behavior is clearly naughty by fighting back.
Because we never know what kind of revenge those people will have.
So, when fighting back against such a naughty person, I think you should stand up to the bully with the help of the adults around you.
Talk to the police
There are many forms of bullying that are criminal acts.
If someone punches or kicks you, they are guilty of “assault“; if someone breaks your property, they are guilty of “damage to property“; if someone steals your property, they are guilty of “theft“; if someone posts something insulting on the Internet, they are guilty of “insult” or “defamation“; if someone threatens you, they are guilty of “blackmail.”
There is no reason for you to be subjected to this kind of criminal behavior, and you should take a firm stand against it.
In one case, a child who was being bullied consulted with the police, and the police contacted the school, and the bullying was later resolved, so it might be a good idea to consult with the police.
I think that the police are a frightening presence for people who are doing bad things.
The bully will not want to be taken care of by the police.
Crimes are obviously unacceptable, so if you have been accused of a criminal act, you should not hesitate to ask for help.
Excessive behavior should be strictly punished.
Running away from bullying
If you are afraid of revenge from bullies, or if you hate the relationships at school, changing schools is one valid option.
For example, if you are a high school student, one option would be to enter a correspondence high school.
Instead of going to school, you study at home.
Since you don’t go to school, you won’t face bullying.
In fact, there are quite a few people who have switched to correspondence high schools because of non-attendance due to bullying, so if you are interested, you may want to look into correspondence high schools, and if there is a school that you can transfer to, I think transferring to that school would be a good choice.
If the relationships at your current school are difficult, then changing schools is well worth considering.
For example, there are so many people who change their jobs because they don’t like the human relations in their workplace.
Human relations in the workplace is always the number one or number two reason for changing jobs.
So, of course, students don’t have to stay in a difficult environment all the time, and even adults change their environment frequently when they feel uncomfortable, so there is no need for you to force yourself to endure.
Not going to school
To be honest, I don’t even think you need to force yourself to go to school.
So I believe you can always stop going to school.
There are many people who have been out of school for a long time but have been able to attend college or get the job they wanted.
There are many people who quit their jobs and became NEETs, but then started working again and are living normal lives as before.
It is up to each individual to decide what kind of life he or she wants to lead, and there are many people who seem to lead a different life but later become very successful.
Even Edison, the king of invention, dropped out of elementary school.
I also think that it is much more important to find something that you can devote yourself to, rather than just vaguely continuing to go to school all the time.
And in today’s world, there are numerous options.
We don’t live in a world where “if one path fails, it’s the end of life.”
There are plenty of opportunities in life even if you are not attending school.
You can change your life as much as you want depending on how you feel.
So I think it’s okay to be out of school for a little while.
In addition, we no longer live in an age where it is admired to persevere even when things are too hard.
In fact, if news of a company that makes its employees work too hard and drives them to suicide is reported, that company will go down in flames.
I think it’s better not to be too patient and not to push yourself too hard if you are in pain.
Your existence is much more important than that of a stranger
By taking concrete actions, you can change your current situation.
You will need to take specific actions to either stand up to the bullying or run away from it.
And at that time, I don’t think there is any need to hold back against strangers such as teachers, telephone counseling center staff, police, or bullies.
I understand the feeling of not being able to talk to the people around you: “I don’t want to worry them,” “I don’t know if they will understand my difficult situation,” “I don’t know if they will be able to solve the bullying if I talk to them,” “They will be busy, and I feel bad talking to them about myself.”
I used to think that way, too.
However, in the end, my own existence is the most important thing, and in my opinion, when you are in a difficult situation because of bullying, there is no need to be reserved at all for others.
I think that you should put yourself first before others.
When you are in pain, you should ask those around you to help you, and when those around you are suffering, you should help them.
This world is built on mutual help, so I don’t think there is anything to hold back.
Anyway, if you want to ask for help from those around you, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
I’m sure that the talented and kind people around you will be able to lend you all kinds of wisdom.
And I don’t think you need to be reserved at all, even more so for strangers who are just trying to bully you.
You will probably never see the bully again in your life after you graduate from school anyway.
You are not going to be dealing with these bullies for the rest of your life.
So, no matter what the bullies think of you, you don’t have to be afraid of them if you can finally cut ties with them at the end of your school life.
Your relationship with bullies is just a temporary one!
There’s more than one way
One of Japan’s greatest historical figures left these words.
There is no single path in the world of humanity.
There are hundreds, thousands, and ten thousands of paths.Ryoma Sakamoto
If you stray from your current path, there are many other paths in reality.
The path you are on now is not the whole world.
Depending on how you feel, you can go down many different paths at any time.
And even if you can’t get a job in the future, you won’t starve to death.
This is because society has a welfare system.
In this way, I believe that even if you go off the path a little bit, it won’t be a big deal in the end, because it’s not like you’re going to die.
Once you die, there is nothing more you can do.
But as long as you are alive, you can do anything later.
I think you should run away at once rather than take your life in pain.
Then you can run away and secure your safety, and then try something new again.
So don’t take your situation too seriously, and just think, “Even if the actions I’m about to take don’t work, I’ll be able to manage my life.”
I’ve had an unusual life too, but I’ve been able to manage it so far! lol
Why does bullying happen?
I would like to think about why bullying happens in the first place, but I think the main problem is that there is an environment where bullying can easily occur.
I think that when the same students spend all their time in the same classroom in a small space, bullying will gradually occur.
For example, there is a famous experiment conducted in the United States called the “Stanford Prison Experiment.”
In this experiment, researchers divided normal people, both physically and mentally, into two groups: prisoners and guards, and observed the behavior of each group, but in the middle of the experiment, the guards began to abuse the prisoners.
Eventually, the abuse escalated so much that the researchers were forced to stop the experiment much earlier than planned.
The people who acted as guards were very ordinary people with no physical or mental abnormalities.
Even such people, when they spend time in such a closed environment, start to bully others.
People are basically creatures that want to be superior to others, and I think that this nature is a major cause of bullying.
This characteristic is very effective in helping people grow through friendly competition with others, but at the same time, it also causes the problem of bullying, so I think that the problem of bullying is something that is difficult to separate from our human society.
However, it is a fact that bullying is still bad behavior.
And again, it’s not your fault.
Human nature, and being in an environment where bullying is likely to occur, is the main cause of bullying, and there is nothing wrong with you.
I want you to be very aware of this.
Based on my own experiences with bullying, I have looked at bullying so far.
I hope my article will be of some help to you.
And finally, I would like to reiterate something.
It means that there are still many fun things waiting for you in the long life ahead that you don’t know about.
There is absolutely no good reason for a bully to ruin your life.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
So please don’t hesitate.
When you send out an SOS, do your best to send out an SOS.
When you run away, run away as fast as you can.
And I hope that you will get out of the narrow world of bullying and step out into the wider world in the rest of your life and experience many fun things.
There are many, many paths.
The above is the message that I, a former bullied child, would like to convey to you.
Also, if you have any questions or concerns for me, please don’t hesitate to send them to me through the counseling room below.