I’m normal when I’m with friends, acquaintances, and colleagues.
I usually laugh and talk, I’m just normal.
But when I’m with my family, it’s completely different.
I don’t laugh at all in front of my family as if I were a different person.
I rarely talk to my family, and even if I do, my voice becomes darker.
I’m expressionless and silent as if I’m trying not to express my emotions in front of my family.
I don’t want to bring my friends home as much as possible.
Maybe it’s because I don’t want to show my true feelings to my family by talking to my friends.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t like my parents.
Rather, I value my family more than my existence.
As you can see, I have a slightly complicated heart for my family.
Then, I think that the reason why I came to have such a heart is related to the education of my parents.
So what happened in the process of my growth?
I would like people who are raising children to use my case as a teacher by negative example.
Because parental education affects a child’s life so much.
- I was brought up very very hard by my father who has old values.
- I was bright, but gradually became silent
- Suffering even after starting work
- Why my personality changes when I’m at home
- When parents scold their children, they should scold only the points they need
- My current feeling that received a severe education
I was brought up very very hard by my father who has old values.
I was a child born when my father was 40 years old and grew up with the education of my father who has old values.
From the age of still attending a nursery school, I was often thrown out, my father locked my house, and I was crying in front of the front door.
I was immediately scolded by my father with a little thing, and I now don’t remember everything that happened but I think I was scolded every day.
When I returned to my parents’ house a few years ago, I watched a video of when I went to the park with my family when I was in elementary school, but I who was in the video was being scolded with a little thing.
Also, when I was in elementary school, I attended a cram school and was aiming to take an entrance examination for junior high school, so I was forced to study every night. While crying.
My father got angry when I had a problem that I couldn’t solve, and I was solving the problem while crying every night.
Like this, I was brought up rigorously until particularly I graduated from elementary school.
I was always scolded.
I was bright, but gradually became silent
Even when I became a junior high school student, my strict education at home did not change.
I was often scolded at a little thing.
And I gradually stopped talking at home.
I think everyone will be that when they reach adolescence.
However, in my case, that condition has continued from adolescence to the present.
After that, I went to high school and college, but I rarely laughed at home or talked to my family.
When I was with my friends, I talked a lot and laughed.
However, my personality changed completely after I got home.
I’m a completely different person at home and outside.
I don’t think that I don’t want to talk to my family, but it does happen automatically.
Suffering even after starting work
And I feel that the rigorous education of my childhood has had a negative impact even after I started working.
I can’t express my opinion face to face.
Even if there is something I don’t understand, I can’t immediately ask people around me about a solution.
I think it’s because I have a fear that someone denies what I said in my heart.
Also, I’m overly concerned about what people think.
I think these are greatly influenced by the rigorous education I received when I was a child.
I was raised by strict education, so I think I came to shrink when I gave my opinion to the other person.
I feel that the image that “what I say will be strongly denied” is unconsciously accumulated.
And I think that is one of the reasons why it is difficult to independence even if I started to work.
Why my personality changes when I’m at home
I think I was born a little more delicate than others.
And despite being delicate, I think that my father’s continued education gave me an irreparable wound, and my heart was completely closed.
I think my heart is unconsciously braking that I shouldn’t do anything at home and I shouldn’t express any emotions.
I’m normal when I meet friends outside the house, and my personality changes only when I’m at home.
However, recognizing the cause does not mean that it will be cured.
I have closed my heart deeply and deeply, so I feel that I can’t help it anymore.
Of course, I would like to do that if I can have fun with my family at home.
But I can’t that.
I will never laugh at home or talk innocently.
By my parents died.
When parents scold their children, they should scold only the points they need
I have such an experience, so I don’t want your family to be like this.
I was very bright when I was a kid, but I actually had a delicate heart.
Like that, it’s hard to understand the nature of a child.
Even if the child doesn’t look delicate at first glance, the child’s heart is actually a delicate heart, and a casual parent’s word may leave a big scar on the child’s heart.
There is a limit to the strictness of education.
That limit was exceeded in my home, and my heart was closed.
It is good to scold if your child does something wrong, and I recommend that you scold at the minimum necessary.
If you express your emotions and scold too much, nothing good will happen.
It will have a negative impact on the subsequent parent-child relationship and the subsequent life of the child.
My current feeling that received a severe education
However, as I wrote at the beginning, I don’t hate my parents.
Also, my mother is a really kind person.
really really kind and gentle mother.
I don’t remember getting scolded at my mother.
She is always a calm mother.
Rather, when I was an adolescent, I couldn’t rebel against my father, so I said terrible things to my mother, and I rebelled and made me sad.
Therefore, I often want to give my mother filial piety as much as possible, and I also want to give my father filial piety.
I feel from my father that he is reflecting on the rigorous education of the past, and nowadays he is a gentle grandfather.
When I go home, he buys a lot of things, and I feel something like compensation.
I think my father also wanted me to grow up well.
And even though there are no textbooks in education, I think my parents desperately raised me.
I later heard that my father’s job was self-employed, so there was a period of financial difficulty at home for a while. (My parents pretended to be normal because they didn’t want to make me uneasy)
So I feel grateful to my parents, but I don’t feel hatred.
I got this kind of education at home, and now I became like this.
I think it is a tragedy that the time when there is nothing good for both parents and children continues.
Because they don’t have maliciousness.
That’s why I want you to not be like me in your home, I want you to build a better family relationship as much as possible.
and on the other hand, make this my experience your teacher by negative example, and please minimize it when scolding children.
Conversely, I think that a good education will improve the future of children.
As mentioned above, from my own experience, I think that it is better to educate in a direction that develops the strengths of the child, and if I have a child, I’m going to grow them like that.