What I want to make has changed.
Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that I now know what I want to make.
Up until now, I have made whatever came to mind, but now I have a clear image of what I want to make.
I think that in the end, the answer to my life lies within me.
Doing what you love and what you want to do is best for you.
Everyone starts life with something they are interested in or like programmed into their brain, so it is desirable to find it and do it.
No matter how much you do what you are not interested in, life is not interesting.
That is because that person is “not that kind of person.”
I think it is my mission in life, in a sense, to do what I like and am interested in.
At any rate, what I want to express now and the atmosphere of this site have diverged considerably, so I’m going to create a new site soon.
So I’m starting to organize things, trying out a lot of new things to create and deleting various past ones.
I’ve already deleted the predecessor to this site, which I created five years ago, because of domain renewal fees and other maintenance costs.
That site was from a time when I was very mentally ill, and I looked back at it before I deleted it, and it looked like a cesspool of vomit haha.
It wasn’t a site where I could put ads, and I’ve already deleted it.
I don’t plan to delete this site, though.
Well, people change, don’t they?
Looking back, it was only five years, but it was super intense.
There were many twists and turns, but I’m glad I found what I really want to do.
I’ve matured mentally, and I think now that I’m glad that I’ve worked through some tough times.
A long time ago, in a video interview with Ichiro (baseball player), I heard him say something like, “A roundabout way is the best shortcut. Even if you reach your goal in the shortest amount of time, you will not gain depth as a person,” or “I want to mature as a person” and I didn’t get it at all at the time, but now I can kind of understand.
In the end, I think work and other events in life are just a way to mature as a person.
Everyone’s purpose in life, without exception, is to be happy.
And I think it is very important to mature as a person in order to be happy.
Happiness is a matter of the mind, so I think it is important to mature as a person so that you can feel various things in a happy way.
If you are a baseball player, baseball is a way to mature as a person.
If you are a painter, painting is a way to mature as a person.
If you work, experience many hardships, and mature as a person, I think you will be happy before you know it.
So I can quite understand what Ichiro said.
I also understand the passage where he says, “you will not gain depth as a person.”
I think that depth is exactly the level of maturity as a person.
I’ve come a long way, but I feel I’ve matured spiritually because of it.
Well, even though I talk so highly of myself, I’m aware that I’m a moral ponce myself haha.
Even if I matured as a person, I would never be a saint.
I’ve done many things in the past that I can’t talk about openly, and I know very well that I’m not the kind of person who can talk about moral issues with others.
It can’t be helped, I’m a human being.
Well, I will continue to express what I want to express in my own way.
Whether practicing or creating something, I just enjoy every day, and if the results follow like goldfish poo, that’s fine with me.
Enjoy every day.
That is my goal now.
