Hello everyone, I’m reversed Darwin.
Is it a self-deprecating joke that you’re regressing instead of evolving?
If that’s the case, it’s the perfect nickname for you! It’s a perfect description of the deterioration of your intelligence!
You really have a great sense of how to express your stupidity, don’t you?
I regret saying that
I really wonder what kind of brains those who can study have.
When I was in elementary school, I was forced to study while crying every night, which made me fucking hate studying, and I still don’t even understand the first year of junior high school math hahaha.
Well, I think it’s really not a good idea to tie your children down or force them to do things they don’t want to do.
I was raised very strictly at home.
And as a result of the strict upbringing, I also developed a kind of dual personality.
You can read more about it in this article, and if you are interested, you can read my case study about the cruel consequences of too strict education.
In addition to my case, I’ve also seen a lot of comments on the Internet from parents who have been too strict with their children and later regretted it.
It seems that they regret their educational policies only when their relationships with their children break down, their children lose confidence in themselves, or their children become withdrawn.
I don’t have children now, so I don’t know what kind of hardships there are in raising children.
In this article, I would like to share my thoughts on education from a child’s point of view, as I have had some very difficult experiences in society as a result of being raised strictly.
So, are you ready, DJ Bob?☆ \(^^)/ < Come on Here we go!
- What do you raise a child for?
- Disadvantages of treating children like slaves
- Things to be aware of when raising children
- "Don't warn your children at all!" That's not what I'm saying
What do you raise a child for?
First! I think it is better to clarify the purpose and goal of parenting in your mind.
If you don’t have a clear purpose and goal for raising your child, there is a high possibility that you will respond to your child in an ad hoc manner, and without realizing it, your child’s growth will fall short of the ideal you had in mind.
There are times when parents put their own feelings ahead of their children’s and interfere with their children too much, and there are times when they get angry and act harshly toward their children.
But if you interfere too much with your children, they are likely to grow up not being able to make decisions on their own, and if you are too hard on them, they are likely to become aggressive towards others.
So, ask yourself the question, “What am I raising my child for?”
I think there are many purposes for raising a child, such as “to help my child become a great person in the future,” “to help my child lead a happy life,” “to raise my child because I like and enjoy children,” etc. Furthermore, there are many goals for raising a child, such as “I want my child to be able to think and act independently,” or “I want my child to grow up to be considerate.”
And once you have those goals and objectives in mind, you can then discipline your child in accordance with them.
If you want your child to grow up to be a child who can make decisions on his/her own, don’t interfere too much and let your child have various experiences.
If you want your child to be considerate of others, strengthen the bond between you and your child, and teach your child to take good care of the things around him/her.
I think that the probability of a child growing up in the wrong direction will be considerably reduced if you raise your child in accordance with the purpose and goal of child raising, rather than in an ad hoc manner.
Therefore, in order to prevent your child’s future from turning out to be the complete opposite of your ideal, you should first recognize what you are raising your child for.
For example, if you think, “I want to be able to speak a foreign language!,” but if you just keep on solving questions in the textbook, you will not be able to have a conversation with a foreigner.
If you keep going in the wrong direction, you will only go further away from your ideal.
In order to prevent yourself from unintentionally straying away from your ideal, make sure you are aware of the purpose and goal of your child-raising and try to raise your children in accordance with it.
I wanted to get better at singing, so I practiced every day, but in the end, I just sang a lot and didn’t get much better
This is a pattern where the goal is not to get better at singing, but to make the effort itself. If that’s the case, you can’t expect to grow much better.
It’s important to be aware of your purpose, isn’t it?
I will continue to work hard on my diet so that I can go to the beach, get picked up, and eat lots of delicious food♪
I found a strange person who goes on a diet that never loses weight
Disadvantages of treating children like slaves
Your children will suffer in the future
There is nothing good that comes from being continuously strict with your children.
There is no such thing as a person who gets fine by being treated harshly and continuously.
For example, abused children are more likely to show decreased motivation to learn, apathy, delinquency, depression, and have less control over their emotions and empathy for others than the average child.
Science has shown that when parents continue to stress their children’s minds with inappropriate education, the child’s brain is damaged and “physically” deformed.
As long as we know the scientific fact that stress from parents can deform a child’s brain and ruin the child’s life afterwards, we should stop raising our children strictly.
Also, such inappropriate education will have a negative impact on the development of intelligence and comprehension of the child.
I think I have finally developed the ability to understand things like other people, but until a while ago, my comprehension was quite poor and I had a very, very hard time at work.
Naturally, my income went down, but I thought over and over again about going home from Tokyo to help my parents with their work.
Now that I think about it, I wonder if my parents’ overly strict discipline had a lot to do with my extreme lack of comprehension.
Well, there are many other disadvantages of a shitty education that treats children like slaves, so I’ll write them down briefly below.
- Become less confident in themselves
- Become impulsive and aggressive
- Become dependent on others
- Become difficult to achieve things to the end
- Constantly seeking acceptance from others
- Become more prone to alcohol, gambling, and drugs
Now, despite the fact that the harmful effects of a strict education that continues to stress children are so apparent today, is there any reason why we should continue such an education?
There is no such reason, is there?
If you don’t want your child to suffer for a long time in the future, you should definitely change such education.
And education links to the next generation.
So, if you don’t want your innocent grandchildren to have a similarly difficult life in the future, you need to fundamentally rethink the way you educate them.
If you continue to be strict with your children, nothing good will come out of it, really.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, even a person with a double personality like me will be born hahahaha.
There’s a lot of self-deprecation today, isn’t there? haha
Well, there are times when you just have to laugh it off, don’t you?
What you do will eventually come back to you
If you treat your child like a slave instead of a human being, there is a very high probability that the punishment will come back to you in the future.
The world is really a well-designed place, and if you do something wrong, it will eventually come back to you.
There have been many cases where abused children have taken revenge on their parents, and even if there are no such incidents, there are apparently many cases where one’s actions come back to one’s self, such as when a parent becomes old and disabled and the child doesn’t want anything to do with the parent at all.
I’ve seen on the internet that there are many people who have been raised so strictly that they don’t want to take care of their parents at all in the future.
By the way, my father was not a bad person, and I have no intention of taking any revenge on him now.
But if my father had been a malicious, abusive bastard, I’m sure I would have taken revenge in the future.
I think I would have treated my trash-like father like trash.
Also, my father seems to want to see his grandchildren quite a bit, but I have never had a girlfriend in my life, and I think it will be difficult for me to have one in the future.
I think this is due to the negative effects of the strict upbringing I received, which has made it difficult for me to take the first step towards women.
I think that even if I confess my feelings to her, she would not accept me.
These thoughts are so deeply ingrained in me that it has been quite difficult for me to act as I wish.
So, when my father cannot see his grandchildren that he wanted to see as a result of my strict education, it means that what he did has come back to him.
I am not a religious person, but I still feel that this kind of retribution is quite likely to happen.
So, while raising children, I think you should make sure that you are not acting against your conscience towards your children.
You should make sure that you are not treating your child like a slave.
And if you are treating them like a slave, you should stop doing so to protect your own future happiness and security.
It’s a very graphic story……
But the stories about toxic parents are all very graphic, aren’t they? When I hear such stories, I think that I was really blessed to be born in a very normal family.
The world is not all about the light. There’s a lot of shadows too
Things to be aware of when raising children
Parents should realize that they are not perfect either
When it comes to raising children, there are many people who think that parents must always be right and honorable, or that they must raise their children perfectly.
But I don’t think that’s necessary at all.
Parents are only human.
No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes.
I think that is the natural state of human beings.
Rather than showing your child a perfect back, I think it is much better to show your child that you never give up and keep trying even if you fail.
Therefore, I think it’s better to raise your child in a relaxed manner and not be so stressed out, because even if you fail, it’s okay if you can do it right next time.
If you try to be perfect in your child rearing, you tend to be too hard on yourself and your child, and end up with results that are far from perfect.
Looking back, I think my father was also a bit of a perfectionist.
I think it’s easier to raise a child in a good direction if you relax and think, “I’ll grow with my child.”
Parents, children, teachers, CEOs, politicians, no one in this world is perfect, right?
But Mother Teresa seems to be a perfect person.
No, definitely not. If she was busy and a child spoke to her, she would say, “Shut up, you little shit! If you’re so bored, go steal some bread from that bakery because I’m hungry!” I’m sure she would have said something like that.
You’re too cynical……
Praise should be the core of your education
People are always happy to receive praise.
I don’t think there is anyone who is not happy to be praised.
Even a strong man who is always imposing will be happy to receive praise and his cheeks will loosen up.
And they will work even harder to improve the part that was praised.
I think it is very important for children to be able to be absorbed in what they are good at and what they like to do in order to lead a happy life, and I think it is very important to praise them for what they have done and create opportunities for them to be absorbed in something so that they can find such things.
Also, when we receive praise, we gain confidence.
Self-confidence is the foundation of life.
When self-confidence is nurtured, it has the following advantages.
- Be able to try new things without fear of failure
- Be able to put your own feelings before those of others
- Be able to accept the opinions and existence of others
- Be able to communicate positively with others
- Be able to live each day with ease
On the contrary, if you raise your children strictly, they will gradually lose their self-confidence.
As a result, the child will lead a life that is the opposite of the advantages mentioned above, and will suffer in many ways after becoming an adult.
There really is a big difference in life between those who are confident and those who are not.
Please nurture your child’s self-confidence on a daily basis so that they can live their own lives with confidence even when they become adults☆
When the neighborhood kids sent me out to buy a Coke, I accidentally bought a Pepsi and they got mad at me, which really hurt my confidence
I feel like that situation is chock full of elements that make you lose confidence…
Why is it normal to assume that you are being used by younger kids……
You should look at the child’s strengths, not their weaknesses
I think that everyone should basically develop their own strengths.
It’s fun to spend time doing what you like and are good at, and if you are better at something than others and can turn it into a job, you will have a chance to earn a higher income than others around you.
So, I think it’s better to look at the child’s strengths as much as possible and provide opportunities for them to develop those strengths.
If you ask me “So it’s okay to ignore all their weaknesses?”, I think it’s okay to ignore most of them!
There is a fine line between stupidity and genius, and people with seemingly conspicuous weaknesses often achieve great things later on.
Albert Einstein couldn’t speak until he was four years old, and he couldn’t read until he was seven years old, so his classmates made fun of him a lot, and his teachers were disgusted by his low intelligence.
It seems that school life was hard and painful for Einstein.
But even Einstein, whose weaknesses were so numerous, eventually won the Nobel Prize and gained a level of fame that ordinary people could never gain.
There is no end to the stories of geniuses who have both great weaknesses and great strengths, but as you can see from these examples, there is no point in looking only at their weaknesses.
In fact, the more disadvantages your child has, the more likely he or she is to become a genius who will accomplish great things in the future.
It is true that the examples of geniuses who have left their names in history may be a little extreme, and I can understand why you might be trying to only look at your child’s weaknesses, but I think that by acknowledging what your child can do, instead of getting angry at everything they can’t do, your child will be able to develop their talents freely.
It’s kind of comforting to see the trashy episodes of great people on the Internet. If even those bad people came to be respected by many people later on, then maybe it’s okay for me to be a little trashy too
What’s with that powerful “yes”?
I’m starting to feel uncomfortable because I’m imagining a lot of bad intentions with just a few words.
You’re thinking too much!
“Don’t warn your children at all!” That’s not what I’m saying
Up to this point, I’ve been saying that we should raise our children without giving them unnecessary stress, and praise them as much as possible, but I don’t mean to say, “Don’t warn your child at all!”
I think it is necessary to warn children when they do something wrong.
When I was a university student, I had a part-time job as a teacher at an after-school center.
I was taking care of young children in the first to third grades.
After school, the children gathered one after another to do their homework and play tag and dodgeball.
This may sound like a lot of fun, but in reality, it wasn’t all that fun.
An after-school center sometimes becomes a battlefield.
My opponents are children in the lower grades of elementary school who have no common sense whatsoever.
They broke the rules of play without hesitation, harassed other children and made them cry, said selfish things and afterwards lost their temper, it was really chaotic.
And even when I told a naughty boy that he shouldn’t do something like that, he just kept saying “I hate the teacher! I hate teachers!” and then he ran off somewhere.
It’s so unreasonable.
The children running around with smiles on their faces began to look more and more like demons.
It really was chaos……
Things were really messed up.
When I was stacking blocks with a little girl, a naughty kid tried to smash them, or when we were watching anime together, a powerful naughty kid blocked the TV with his arms outstretched.
Really, there’s a tremendous amount of energy in early elementary school kids trying to pull pranks.
It’s really hard for teachers, isn’t it…?
So, from my experience, if we don’t warn our children at key points, we won’t be able to raise them properly.
I think it is not good to leave their unreasonable behavior unattended.
I think we should show them the distinction between what they are allowed to do and what they are not allowed to do.
I still think that we need to be careful about how we warn them.
I think it is important to analyze together why the behavior is not good and to calmly think about how to prevent the behavior from happening again.
I think it is important to let the children think for themselves instead of yelling at them emotionally.
In my experience, a teacher’s stern warning is sometimes necessary to bring a group of mischievous children together, but in a one-on-one relationship between a parent and a child, if the child is disciplined calmly, I think the child will understand in the end.
Well, there may be some children who are too naughty and it may be better to be strict with them, and this is a case-by-case basis, so I don’t think it is possible to say in general that you should do this.
But, as I have already mentioned, there are some disadvantages to being too strict, so basically, we need to raise our children in a relaxed and stress-free manner, and then warn them appropriately according to the situation of each family.
Yes! So that’s it! I’ve explained what I think about child raising!!
You’re acting like a gym teacher.
I guess he’s more of a junior high school boy who likes health class than a gym teacher
To be honest, I can’t say much about child raising since I am not actually raising children.
But, I have had the experience of being raised by a Spartan education that resulted in a split mind, so I have described my child raising methods based on that experience and others.
The former Empress of Japan, Michiko, had this to say.
I don’t want to raise a happy child, but a child who can be happy no matter what the circumstances.The former Empress of Japan, Michiko
I agree with these words very much, and if I had a child, I would want to raise him or her to be happy on his or her own.
In order for this to happen, children need the love of their parents, not the strictness of their parents, and when they have a foundation of confidence and a sense of security that they are loved and needed, they will grow up to be “children who can be happy on their own,” who are not afraid to take on challenges and who can forgive themselves and others even when they fail.
Children need love that they can feel!
So that’s today’s conclusion!
☆ What do you raise a child for? ☆
If you respond in a haphazard manner, your child’s growth may end up going in the opposite direction of your ideal!
To prevent this from happening, you must first have a clear understanding of the purpose and goal of child raising!
☆ Disadvantages of treating children like slaves ☆
- Your children will suffer in the future
Improper education deforms a child’s brain!
In order not to mess up your child’s future, you should stop strict education and change to education that shows love to your child!
- What you do will eventually come back to you
In this world, if you do something wrong, it will eventually come back to you!
In order to protect your own future happiness and security, if you have any unconscionable behavior towards your children, you should stop it immediately!
☆ Things to be aware of when raising children ☆
- Parents should realize that they are not perfect either
Even parents are only human beings after all!
It’s impossible to do everything perfectly!
That’s human nature.
We are weak and imperfect creatures!
- Praise should be the core of your education
Everyone is happy when they receive praise, and it boosts their self-confidence!
Self-confidence is the foundation of everyone’s life, and if children can solidify this foundation, they will be able to live a lively life in their own way.
Praise, praise, and praise!
- You should look at the child’s strengths, not their weaknesses
It doesn’t matter if children have weaknesses!
Ignore them and focus on their strengths!
We only have one short life, and we don’t have time to fix a lot of weaknesses!
☆ “Don’t warn your children at all!” That’s not what I’m saying ☆
When a child does something wrong, you need to warn them!
But be careful how you warn them, and warn them appropriately based on the situation in the home!
I am watching over you from afar with my other self so that your child raising will turn out well \(^o^)/
And that concludes today’s class!
Thank you very much!!!!!!
I miss it! Oh, I wish I could go to school again, don’t you?
Hey, hey, hey! What happened to you at school?